My favorite 7-year-old friend called me at the foundation today and asked me to help her “numb” herself from a breakup out of a one year relationship she’d just had. I thought, sure, I’ll help you. Wait, a breakup? You’re seven? Who’s out here letting their 7-year-old have relationship drama? I’m genuinely curious LOLLL. But between some giggles with her, I said, “No more boyfriends until you’re out of college.” She gave me this dramatic huff, but it made me start thinking. If she were out of college, here’s what I’d actually tell her:
Suffering is not something to necessarily numb. When soldiers enter bootcamp, they don’t get a cup of tea or cozy blankets. They get tough love. The real heroes get through it because they know it’s preparation. The same goes for us. Right now, maybe you’re walking through your own version of bootcamp. Whether it’s a breakup, or a health issue, or a faith crisis, the struggle is real. You could numb the pain with Netflix, social media scrolling, or maybe a donut… But really, suffering doesn’t last forever. And if you keep distracting yourself, you’ll lose the opportunity to become the person God has destined you to be on the other side of it.
Don’t waste your suffering. I’m not saying pretend everything’s fine or suppress your emotions. But I’m saying face the pain and really let it sting. Let it shape you. Kids come to me with pain all the time, especially during the winter season. When the pain hits, don’t give up. Don’t escape. Instead, take a deep breath and say, “Okay, this is hard. But I’m going to make it count. I’m going to grow through this.”
“All the science of the Saints is included in these two things: To do, and to suffer. And whoever has done these two things best, has made himself most saintly.”
St. Francis de Sales
If you’re facing something uncomfortable in your life right now, don’t immediately beg God to take it away. Don’t numb it or run from it. Don’t let this chance to grow in faith slip through your fingers. You are not alone. There’s an army of saints backing you up and fighting for you. They’ve been through their own bootcamps and know exactly how to help you through yours.
Stay focused on Heaven. We’re meant for something much greater than what’s happening right now. We all have a day of judgment coming, and no one is excused from it. It’s better to face our suffering now, here on Earth, than to let it go unresolved and face a deeper purification later. This world is our chance to prepare for Heaven. This life is like a mini-purgatory—our chance to get rid of our selfishness, pride, and everything that weighs us down. It’s not easy, but it’s so worth it. Constant patience—the kind of patience that doesn’t run out after one tough day or one broken heart—is more valuable than any wordly thing. Gratefully accept the suffering and run towards it. Embrace the suck. (; Ugly cry if you need to, but then follow it up with a grin and a prayer: “Lord, help me walk through this well. Help me come out of this stronger and unrecognizable.” And when you’re done, you’ll be 10 times the person you were when you started. Boom. As for my little 7-year-old friend, I’ll probably wait to tell her this until she graduates school…
